ETA,
Nicole, you're right. It most certainly doesn't sound like anything I'd ever say. In my wildest dream!!
But unfortunately, today I found out just how low I really can stoop.
I'm actually a little embarrased now that I re-read it. Santa's gonna be disappointed for sure.
But then again, I've been taking abuse from this patient for almost two years and she's in every three months for her shot. She had it coming.

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Nothing like a good ol’ fight with a patient to get your blood pumping!!
Dr. X caught a ‘Christmas bug’ and left me to cancel our office today and tomorrow.
I called every patient to reschedule.
Only one gave me trouble.
Not the patient who needed follow up for heart surgery, the patient with a lump in her breast, or the 3 oncology patients nauseous and in pain from chemo.
But a 23 year old wild child who was scheduled for a birth control injection.
She yelled, she cursed, stated Dr X was a f***ing sh*t doctor.
I was on the phone with this little psycho for 15 minutes.
As always, I start out polite and empathizing.
And rebook as soon as possible.
But I just KNEW this call would be something else.
She has a history of throwing fits on me.

I offered to rebook asap. (The very first day Dr X is back in the office…..pretty damn good if you ask me, right?)
Not happy….

I’ll spare you the whole conversation but share the ending…..You can bet that I took advantage of Dr X’s absence in the office to speak freely.

After about 10 minutes of abuse, I started to loose my composure.

Me: LISTEN, Dr. X is SICK!!! He won’t be in until THURDAY!!! What do want???
Her: I want to go in for my appt today. Or tomorrow. Or earlier on Thursday. I took today off work for my appt.
Me: Listen, you have a job??? When your boss tells you to do something, do you do it? Cause I sure as hell do what the person who signs my paycheck tells me to do. And I’m not going to call him at home and ask him to drive in to town specifically to see you.
Her: Well, this is bullsh*t. I waited 3 months for an appt and now you’re cancelling it.
Me: Yup, deal with it. I’m not just cancelling your appt sweetheart. I’m cancelling everyone who had an appts today. This is not “let’s screw ***** out of an appt day.”
You want to see someone, you can walk in to any walk in clinic or the hospital in town. They’ll make you wait anywhere between six to thirteen hours because you’re not coming in for an emergency!!! You act like a bitch every single time you call here for an appt and frankly, I’m tired of you!!!
You think I’m a stupid receptionist and you can yell at me because you’re a skanky airplane pilot?!? I’ll tell you a little something……I’m not a lowly receptionist. I’m Dr. X’s medical assistant. I’ve been trained and I know my SHIT!!!! I can read every diagnosis in your chart and tell you exactly how many STD’s you’ve caught in your short little life. I made the conscious choice to move back to Timmins and work as a receptionist at this job because I wanted to be near my family and also because I know Dr. X will ALWAYS have my back in situations like these. And that IS worth lowering myself to also working as the office receptionist.
Now my final offer is the appt I offered you on Thursday. Take it or leave it. I don’t give a shit. But one last thing to keep in mind for the rest of your life is that it’s always in your best interest to make nice with any receptionist you come across. We ARE the ONLY way you’ll have access to whatever services you’re inquiring about. I will never compromise your health. But I can definitely make you wait three months for an appt while others will be booked in for appts ahead of you.

And then……she hung up on me!!!!